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Monday, October 26, 2009

Coming Late To The (Nazi) Party

I hate getting stopped by protesters, mostly because they tend to be well-meaning but smell of wet dog.

There were swathes of them outside the BBC last week (where I'm currently holed up colouring in some new Doctor Who stuff) for the appearance of Nick Griffin, current leader of the British National Party, appearing on 'Question Time'. Now I wanted him on there to hopefully to make an utter fool of himself - but they wouldn't listen, called me a racist and stuffed a handful of flyers in my hand. Now I think free speech is very important - we're just terrible at dealing with it in this country. Thusly when Griffin was on the show, it was rather like the horrible uncle that arrives at a Christmas lunch who every now and again lurches forward and says "I suppose you bought this gravy from the local paki shop, didn't you?" and everyone looks down at their sprouts and hopes to change the subject to more genteel matters. My only regret is that they didn't give him enough time (or metaphorical rope) to hang himself; perhaps they should have eschewed 'Question Time' and put him on 'Come Dine With Me' and maybe a slight tint to the meringue would have set him off and made him explode in ill-contained hatred.

Meanwhile on 'Question Time' he danced his considerable bulk around most of the issues thrown at him (I loved the idea he was friends with a non-violent faction of the Klu Klux Klan - what did they do, sit around on weekends comparing thread counts in their sheets?) and was only given just about enough time to semi-disgrace himself with the only faux pas by announcing he finds gay men kissing in public 'creepy'. Goodness, this from a man with eyes so independent from each other that one looks like its going down the shops while the other is coming back with the change. He looks like a constantly-surprised plucked owl. And with that hideous weak chin - oh darling readers, does it not look like he was breast-fed until he was five years old? And he says that gay men kissing is creepy? My dear thing, the idea of you getting your bow-shaped dribbling lips around anything remotely human fills us with a revulsion.

Back to the argument of free speech. The whole incident with vile journalist Jan Moir is proving that my faith in human nature is actually justified for once, when she attacked the death of Stephen Gately as being 'unnatural' - clearly alluding to the fact it was with another two men present and possibly involved drugs. She then spent a whole week weaseling around the hack language when people turned around and said "Hang on..." and M&S started dropping pictures of pants from around her column. I was surprised when another column turned up a week later trying to show off her teflon coating about the whole incident, again not really saying anything certain about anything up until the last few paragraphs, where she tries to prove herself right about the whole outcry, thusly shooting herself in her own coven hoof. Here she is saying 'anyway, so what if I was gay-bashing, I got lots of letters after I wrote that column saying I was right'. Now this just plain stupid: a handful of messages from your family in Kent undersigned 'the silent majority' does not equate with the twenty-two thousand emails that went to the Press Complaints Commission. Twenty-two thousand. There were so many that the website crashed. I very much doubt that the delusional 'undersigned' numbered that many, darling. If so, I'm going to add numeric illiteracy alongside your inability to write anything without meandering around a point. See, I'm all for free speech, I just want it to be well written.

3 comments:

Artura Bianca said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Artura Bianca said...

I do SO love it when chinless, wall-eyed trolls are the ones extolling the virtues and strengths of the "white race". It gives those of us with mixed parentage a fit of the giggles.

As for Jan Moir, what a disgrace she is. Really. I'm speechless that she's even surprised that she caused such a fuss.

Please, however, desist from saying that Nick Griffin looks like an owl. I like owls.

Spike said...

The fabulous Lee wrote: a man with eyes so independent from each other that one looks like its going down the shops while the other is coming back with the change

I have stolen this.