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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Food Poisoning

Being a screaming Gentleman Who Owns One Too Many Gingham Shirts, there is one sliver of thought that runs through any instance of food poisoning. Throughout the endless vomiting, poised on the edge of the toilet like those oscillating dippy-bird toys. Through the explosive instances at the other end of the body that renders leaving the house an impossibility, as well as turning it into a No-Poking Compartment. And that thought is this: Oh my good lord, this is better than any diet going and I'm going to look faaaaabulous.

3 comments:

The Mutant said...

The same thing runs through my mind too. As a result I'll now only ever eat at the dodgiest looking establishments - The weight just melts away! Although that no poking compartment thing is less fun.

Stepfordtart said...

I blogged about a similar 'weight loss plan' when I had my last colonoscopy. Oh, what fun! Oh, and according to www.gardenerscorner.org, Lysol "works great on powdery mildew", too. *shudder* s x

mkf said...

this post reminds me of a friend who used to look at pictures of ethiopian famine victims and envy them their definition (he tried to come off as half-kidding, but we knew he wasn't).