Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Monday, October 05, 2009

The Lost Symbol IX

Ooh, the home stretch now. Almost at the end I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear.

So where are we? Well, Mal'akh's plan is finally revealed and it seems to be getting himself killed while at the same time sending video footage of the Masons doing their initiation ceremony around the world. Apparently this will 'bring down governments' because it shows people titting about in robes and if you show this on the 6 o'clock news the whole country would be in uproar. According to Dan Brown. I mean really, if I saw video footage of any members of our government flouncing about while drinking from skulls I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised and would just turn over to watch 'Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two'. Also I think Mal'akh needs to have a word with his internet service provider as it takes two chapters to upload a video file to a server when we all know it takes about 30 seconds to do it on YouTube (or XTube cough) in this day and age. Perhaps the news networks wouldn't broadcast it unless he uploaded it in HD with 5.1 sound? They're clearly very picky.

The vile Character Traits on Legs is in her helicopter and complaining that they can't set off an EMP pulse to fry the laptop sending the video because the Mason's temple is stone and thus completely shielded from electromagnetic radiation. Oh really? Magic stone is this? And then the following paragraph has her helicopter hovering over a fricking glass skylight!

However there is a plot twist around here that was actually quite good so I won't spoil it for you assembled masses. And it actually ties up some of the irritating loose ends from midway through the book. When I first started this read my expectations were middling but slowly started to sink as I remembered what an appalling author Brown is. I can't remember why this slipped my mind, I can only assume that my boyfriend sent me for electroshock therapy at some point. I'm still not saying this is a competent read. To me its very much like the child at the wedding that everyone's wary of: if it didn't sick up or crap itself during the reception, it was a good day.

I may have finished it by tomorrow. I do hope so, but I still have no idea what the Lost Symbol is yet. I better not be disappointed...

Thinks of child at wedding...

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