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Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Vag Bomb

I mean clearly I'm a stranger to feminine hygiene having never been near a splayed bacon sandwich since my dear mother shot me into this world. Male hygiene - well you're lucky if they run it under the tap before you find it insistently bobbing around before your mouth, but I understand that women get it all a little worse - compounded by someone sending me this delightful ad:



Well, isn't that just lovely! Cher bless you, 1950s housewife. You're not going to get any, my love, because your frustrated, Bryl-Creemed husband has locked himself away to smoke pipes and build ships in bottles just to take his mind off the idea of plunging nuts-deep into your drip-tray - that just happens to reek like the bins of a sea-view hotel on a summer's afternoon.

Although I have to ask - 'soda'? They used soda? Really? I can't really imagine sitting there during 'Wheel of Fortune' while your nethermouth is fizzing away like a Sodastream. Well I can, I just choose not to. I'm strong like that. Yeah.

5 comments:

mike said...

Hence the expression "foaming at the gash"? (Casts eyes leftwards.)

Although it's the salt that surprises me more. Why would anyone even THINK of adding salt to... oh, hang on...

Tim said...

I expect toilet duck works equally well.

Kathleen Bradean said...

"Appealing daintiness" Oh dear lord.

zeppp42 said...

Now I am just imagining those hard working scrubbing bubbles zipping around the rim in order to make it all a bit more sparkly fresh

JohnnyFox said...

According to the tinterweb "The active ingredient in many of the Lysol products is benzalkonium chloride.[1] This ingredient is highly toxic to fish"

you'd wonder why they shove it up their mingeflaps then, wouldn't you?