Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Casting Couch

So I was having a burger in what equates to an upmarket McDonalds (very well, you may serve beer, but you still have to go to the tills to order your bacon & avocado burger like some rat-haired commoner spending her benefits on Chicken McNuggets) when I noticed some woman looking at me. Now this happens rarely, but it does happen. Here's your for instance: I was at a house-party the other week and accidentally fell into conversation with a nice lady (chucky knitwear, discrete jewelry; perfectly acceptable) and we were chatting about books and films and all sorts of things, and she was going on about her favourite feminist author and I was wondering when exactly I'd got to the age where I'd stopped talking about tv shows at parties and started talking about books I'd read. And she started leaning in conspiratorially to tell me something she considered risque, and I listened and inwardly thought I was doing stuff like that before my teens but I cackled like a hag anyway, and we seemed to be getting on like a house on fire until my boyfriend came over and put his arm around me. At which point she smartly turned on the spot and walked off, just like that. I thought 'what a cheeky bitch!' before said boyfriend explained that she may have been interested in me to do whatever messy, squelchy stuff that happens between a man and a lady. He felt very sorry for her, whereas I just didn't fancy finishing my salmon vol-au-vent.

Anyway, back to the restaurant. This woman was definitely staring, and at me. It was putting me right off my cocktail so I got up to leave, shirking on my coat and heading for the door. At which point, she got up and dashed forward, brandishing a piece of paper.

Inwardly I was already groaning, poised to have that very difficult conversation where I had to say I was flattered and all, and it was very sweet of her to come over and hand me her number, but I'm actually so far up the front of The Other Bus that I'm in charge of the tape player for the whole journey. At the very point I'm opening my mouth to say this, she completely blind-sides me by saying she really liked my beard, following this up with the fact that she's a casting agent, looking for people who 'look a bit French' to be background extras in a new film called 'Bel Ami'.

Now clearly my brain was a bit addled and the words I heard were 'French', 'film' and 'Bel Ami' and I went away a bit confused as to why I was being asked until I read the flyer, and it turns out it's a proper film, starring perennial favourite glittering vampire, Robert Pattinson, as well as Uma Thurman and Christina Ricci. Interesting enough, but the final line of the flyer she gave me was 'lots of beautiful costumes'.

WELL, YOU HAD ME AT HELLO LADY.

I'll keep you informed as to what happens...

5 comments:

Nimbos said...

More of a casting beard than couch, surely...

MyRobertPattinson.com said...

hi this is Jen from BelAmiFilm.com movie blog. would you mind scanning your flyer for us or taking a pic of it and emailing to us? we are collecting these bits for our blog and would love to include your casting flyer in a post. please email us at belamimovie@gmail.com very cool story!

Tim said...

You 'look a bit French'!? That's rude. Anyway, Frenchy, you are never living this down, let me tell you.

Muwahahaha.

Ellie said...

Excellent!

I have to say I love the Buffalo burger at Gourmet Kitchen Burger, but you're right: the ordering at the counter is so pleb.

peeling-a-fig said...

Have to comment just because your quips and various comments made me laugh. Designer/shemigner. You should write, hon. I mean, beyond the blog.