Journey through space to the Planet Fabulous, where the Ruler of the Universe will see you shortly.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Amsterdam #2

Of course there were other things to do. The 'seedier' things. You know, dope and sex - oh, I got a giddy thrill just typing it! How can you not like a city that, even in a five-star hotel, gives you wipe-clean PVC bolster pillows? Fabulous.

From what I was saying in the previous post about there being nothing to do is a little ungracious - there's loads to do if you want to get stoned and chuck your muck up a stranger. But as that pretty much summed up my last year of uni, and as my knees are pretty much made of breadsticks these days, we thought we'd tone it down a little. So Nelson and I got stoned and went to look at the prozzies.

Goodness, the night shift were a gorgeous bunch of ladies. I mean seriously - they're like the ones that you see on the the top shelf magazines of the newsagent, but on the nice magazines. Not the ones with a cover taken on a Kodak disposable of some Kettering housewife looking like she'd had an accident with the icing bowl. No, these ladies of the night were pneumatic lovelies who were actually good looking, wearing nothing but three bits of masking tape and a come-hither grin. As Nelson and I wandered past, they'd tap on their windows with nails so long and sharp they could have probably cut through the glass with a quick swipe. Amazing.

The day-shift, though? Bugger me, rough as a badger's arse. You'd have thought they'd have kept them in the dark of night, not the other way around. Or fed them after midnight.

And no, you're not being told how I knew the pillows were wipe-clean.


Perry Neeham said...

Readers wives - have you ever seen so many horrible headboards?

Caliope said...

Horrible headboards - only in the pics on gaydar.

Adrian said...

I was impressed that they little stools sit on. Wouldn't want them to do their backs in, like.